Finding a way

Oops!

I missed a post (again).

My new job is kicking my butt in the best kind of way.

I'm struggling with how to keep this thing going.

After all, I won't be a classroom teacher this year.

That doesn't mean there aren't good things.

It doesn't mean those things aren't school related.

It doesn't mean those things aren't important.

But they are different.

Really different.

The stories worth telling aren't as obvious to me.

Who cares about my formatting nightmares when I'm prepping curriculum?

Why would I write about answering emails?

Is my phone conversation with a crazy enthusiastic librarian worth writing about?

Can I legitimately write about how terrifying this adventure is?


How much story do I really need?

These are the things I am thinking about...


You know, when I'm not too tired to see straight or in the midst of ten new tasks.

The only way to learn to swim is to jump in the deep end.

Also, the only way to drown.

Anyway...

I'm also acutely aware that I now inhabit a realm needing significantly more confidentiality.

I'm a silver linings kind of girl.

To find the silver lining, you kind of have to expose the clouds.

That's a big deal and a bit delicate.

As with many things right now, I'm still finding my feet.

Looking for balance, if you will.

So, yeah, my current good thing is that I don't know what to write about.

Or how to write about it.

Or if it is worth writing about.

Or if I can, in good conscience, write about it.

A good conundrum, but a bad result: Missed post.

I'll work it out.

Please be patient.

Being in a new position, technically administrative, is uncomfortable.

It reminds me of being a first year teacher.

You know what you are doing, you know you know.

And you still second guess everything and feel incompetent all the time...

Even when you're clearly killing it.

I don't think I've gotten to the killing it part yet.

It will come.

So will all the good things.